Go to college, get a degree, have massive amounts of debt…work in retail…
Go to college, get a degree, have no debt…work in retail…
Don’t go to college, no degree, no debt…work in retail…
I know college was suppose to open me up to better jobs, but I’ve been working retail since I was thirteen. I’m twenty four right now.
My boyfriend makes more money than I do and yet he hardly has any money after paying all his loans.
This holiday season is going to suck.
After a long absence on here for reasons I’ll discuss later, I’m back on here.
I’ve miss blogging and I’ve missed being able to share my thoughts and get them out of my head. Mainly because right now is seemingly very stressful to me and I feel like I’m falling into a hole I can’t climb out of.
In the next few days or so I’ll be posting more regularly. I’m not going to try and go by rules of what a blog should and shouldn’t be. I just want this blog to be about me. Which in a sense means it will be all over the place.
So stay tuned my friends and fellow bloggers because I will be back on here more often.
So my friend and I are in Boston for Anime Boston. We arrived yesterday and for dinner, we decided that it was going to be sushi.
I got this. I think this was the sushi appetizer. A lot of raw fish. I am a vegetarian and I have never been a fan of raw fish or fish in general. I needed lots of soy sauce for this.
My friend got avocodo salad. It was really yummy. Spicy, but yummy. If it didn’t have crab, I would have ordered one.
I only eat seafood when in Boston.
Of course, miso soup is always a must.
Caterpillar roll. It was yummy. I was sad that it was what my friend ordered and not me. Oh well, live and learn.
This was the other dish I ordered. This was the sashimi appetizer. Not as fishy tasting as the sushi, so not a lot of soy sauce was needed.
My friend also got tuna sandwiches. These also weren’t very fishy tasting which was a plus.
Finally, the giant dish of fried rice. It was yummy.
So yes, the food was awesome and it was delivered to our hotel room.
Just, it was VERY expensive. Yummy, but expensive.
Still, I suggest you try it if you ever stay at the Courtyard Marriott in Cambridge.
This rest stop is on the Palisades Parkway. I love this drive and the views it gives. You want to stop at the station that mentions food, books and gifts.
It is the only place I know of where hawks are gliding in the air only feet from the ground.
New York City is also close and can be seen from across the river.
Photos don’t do this place justice. It needs to be seen in person. Any season is good although during the winter, I don’t think the store is open.
Yes, I am sad to say that I suffer from a very bad addiction. No one has really known HOW bad it was until today.
I own twenty three different hoodies or sweatshirts. It might even be more since I do have some laundry going and I think there are at least two more hoodies in the wash.
Yes, I do wear them all and I love them all to death.
So there it is folks. I have an addiction to hoodies and it isn’t going to be stopped anytime soon.
Today is a dismal rainy Saturday. I am working until 3pm and then it is back home to do some house cleaning.
All I want to do is bury myself under pillows and sleep.
It is something I picked up as a child to scare my parents. I would hide under the pillows without disturbing the pillows or blankets and wait for a parent to lay in bed. Then I would slightly move. Not enough to make them think it was me though. Maybe even scratch the headboard to sound like a mouse.
This was not without trouble though.
My dad being a big man at 6’2″, would figure out I was hiding and push back against the pillows. Thus suffocating me and forcing me to give up my hiding spot.
My mother, well, she would freak out, yelling my name everywhere in the house and outside the house. She did almost call the police at one point because while buried under the pillows, I fell asleep.
Even now, I will take all the pillows on my bed and hide underneath them. I will also hide under the pillows in the guest room and in my parents room. I hid under pillows while at college as well.
Now I am a tiny person. I’m just barely five feet tall, so I can lay on most beds width wise and still be hidden.
Maybe once I’m done work and chores I’ll go pick a bed and bury under some pillows and sleep for a bit.
Dear Friend,
I know you may never see this letter. I am writing just as piece of mind for myself and maybe some sort of closure, I’m not really positive on that.
I just want to say, that the long text message you sent me really did hurt. I was only asking how you were doing. I wasn’t trying to rub anything in your face or make you feel horrible. I take to heart what you say and can only assume I was never a good friend for you.
I know I am not the smartest, or the strongest, or the prettiest friends you’ve had. I’m sure I’m low on every friend radar you had. I just thought we were friends but I see now, we never really were. I guess I was just a pawn in your game of chess and sooner or later, I would be taken off the board.
I know that you and Chris ended on horrible terms, I have heard his side of the story and I wish it would have ended differently, I wish for some of it you could have spoken to me about it. I was always willing to lend an ear to a friend who needed help or advice. I can only guess I wasn’t good enough for that.
If I had known there were rules for dating, I would have ignored them anyways because friends are suppose to support and be happy for each other. I was always supportive of you and all my friends whether you knew or cared was your choice.
I’m sorry for opening a wound, but again, I wasn’t asking how you were so I could rub it in your face how badly it ended between you and Chris. I really just wanted to know how you were doing. I hope the chaga is working well for you and I hope your boyfriend enjoyed the smudge sticks you got him for Christmas.
Most of all, I hope you are happy and healthy. Because even though we aren’t friends anymore (at least, from the long text message I figure we aren’t friends anymore), I will sometimes think about you in Vermont and I just hope everything is going well for you and your family.
So I will let you live your life and even though there is no chance, I hope someday we can at least be on speaking terms again.
Your Ex Friend,
Liz
I would take the paper that was spit out of the pricing gun and pretend it was either a tail, hair, or just wave it around like a wand when I was younger.
I would pretend I had curly hair since the paper would come out in cute Shirley Temple curls which I love. Even though it would only be one or two curls, I loved it.
If I had a few ling curly ones, it would be a horse tail by tucking it into my pants and running around the Sunoco.
Sometimes I would take the somewhat long ones and make it into streamers that I would wave and run with like it was a wand.
Oh how I miss those days. If I did that now, it might look a little strange.
Small cheese pizza with mushrooms, peppers, onions and broccoli.
Same thing anytime I work at the beer store and have money. Made at Lafayette Pizza and it is so yummy!
That was my playground if I went with my mother to get beer. I don’t know how I never broke a case or two.
I did the same with cases of soda as well.
About my sanity and the people I work with. Somehow both of us working today thought we missed seeing the bus to the casino.
That is the window at the front. As you can see, we pretty much see the whole parking lot.
This is what we see when the bus pulls up.
Like I said, I wonder sometimes.
I always thought this was an old office building that was taken over by plants and that if it was ever dug out, there would be skeletons sitting at desks and water coolers. I also thought arms and legs would be hanging out because the people tried to escape.
This was before I knew what a retaining wall and sound blocker wall were. I think I was six or so when I thought this.
And no, I wasn’t watching scary movies or crime shows. Just my imagination at work.
When I was little, I was up at my neighbors house playing with her dogs while they were away. I was maybe eight or nine at the time. Suddenly, a guy pulled up in the circle and asked if I had seen a small dog on the loose. I told him I hadn’t. Then he asked me if I would come with him to help look for the lost dog. I very politely told him I couldn’t help him because I was playing with my neighbors dogs. I told him if I saw the dog I would hold onto it for him. The guy left and I played with the dogs for a little bit longer and went back home and forgot about the man looking for his dog.
Looking back on that now, I wonder if he really was looking for a dog, or if he was trying to kidnap me by saying he needed help looking for a lost dog. I never remember hearing anything on the news or from my parents.
I only thought about this memory because I am up at my neighbor its house watching her dogs and enjoying the nice warm sun. I saw a black BMW drive around in the circle and that made me remember the time the guy tried to get me to help him look for his dog.
Come to think of it, the guy wasn’t all that old. Maybe in his late twenties or early thirties. He was driving a small black car, maybe it was an expensive car or maybe it was a not so expensive car. I never remembered this until today.
Strange or what?
Well tonight I ate dinner with my boyfriend and my parents at a new restaurant in Philly called Vedge. It’s really nice, definitely not a jeans and sweatshirt type of place. It’s gotten rave reviews in the local papers and is vegetarian which is great.
The menu is somewhat small which is nice, it makes it a little easier to choose something when I’m not starring at thirty different items that are all vegetarian and all seem very yummy.
Now, the whole idea of the menu is to actually choose more than one item off the entree list. Which was really strange at first, but the waitress said everything was more on the smaller scale. I ended up eating the full board bite, royal trumpet mushrooms, grilled seitan, and from the dirt menu, broccoli.
It was like going to a tasting for a wedding, at least, I’m assuming going to a tasting means getting small portions of food to try out.
The full board bite wasn’t my thing. It was pretty much a small thing of beans, green and black olives and some vegetables that were pickled. I thought the beans were really dry and salty and I’m not a fan of olives at all. I found the pickled vegetables to be really yummy and there was also a mustard based sauce that was really good with said pickled vegetables.
The royal trumpet mushrooms came in a soup and that was by far my favorite item on the list. Everything about it was really cool. Just the right warmth where it didn’t burn my tongue and wasn’t lukewarm. It even came with some thyme.
The seitan was super yummy. It was literally falling apart and tasted amazing. Wasn’t a big fan of the lentils, but that is just personal taste.
Dessert included a trio of unique ice cream flavors. I enjoyed a small scoop of saffron, cara cara orange, and halvah which tastes like a tahini sauce and takes awhile to find on search engines. My favorite was the cara cara orange followed by the halvah. I didn’t enjoy the saffron well, because it tasted like a spice I’ve never liked.
My parents loved the cheesecake and I have to say, I found it really yummy. I’m not even a cheesecake person. Although I felt like it was just a plain cheesecake topped with lemon marmalade, blood orange and clementine juice. Then again, I also don’t know how flavored cheesecake is actually made since I’ve never wanted or liked it.
This place isn’t cheap with items ranging from four to twelve for starters, eight dollars to fifteen for entrees and anywhere from two to twenty one dollars for desserts and after dinner drinks. Which, by itself isn’t too bad, but buying four items from the entree list can cost a bit if you include dessert and alcohol.
Alcohol is also a bit expensive, although I’m not sure what normal prices are for drinks. My dad had two gin and tonics and they were eleven dollars each. My mum had two vodka martinis and I think they were twelve each. Most of the alcohol was around the same price.
All and all, I don’t know if I’d go back. It had great atmosphere and charm, but is just a bit too expensive.
Anyhow, it’s off to bed now. Forgot it’s daylight savings and it’s now almost 3:30am. Last I looked at the clock, it was almost 2am.
I wrote this on my fish forum, but I’m posting here as well.
This entry will not be about fish. It will be about a very nice man who I knew from college who passed away the other day. 
He was one of the music directors at Green Mountain College and he was always so nice and caring. Before choir would start he would chat with the students before choir and warm up time was always funny to me. Watching him warm up with us, his mouth forming all the movements and his beard moving as he did this always made me smile. I know it sounds creepy, but it was just something to amuse me during warm ups. It also made me much more aware of my mouth as I sang. He leaves behind a wife who I also knew through the college. The two of them were truly soul mates and so in love with each other. It’s the type of love that everyone hopes to find. He also leaves behind two sons who I knew from college as well. I wish his wife and kids all the love and sympathy in the world. This man was truly a light in the world and there will be one less song in the world being sung by him. Except now that his song will be heard in nature for everyone to hear. He brought a smile to so many students and faculty and and he touched many hearts with his kind ways and humorous personality. RIP Paul, you are missed.
I can’t believe he’s gone. He was an amazing person and his presence will be missed sorely. |
I didn’t feel as depressed as I have been feeling. I’m still confused beyond all hell whether I should go home or not. I am going to check out a housekeeping job tomorrow and seeing if I can get that.
I just feel neutral. I don’t know if all the confusion is just wearing me down mentally and physically, but I just feel neutral.
I’ve found that I’ve been saying “I don’t know” a lot lately and sadly, I don’t know why. Well, I know why, I don’t know if I should go home or not. I mean, I’ve been thinking about it and thinking about it and I just keep confusing myself.
I think the problem is that a lot of my ideas about myself at this point have changed. I never expected to be unemployed still and have a boyfriend. I thought I’d have a job, be saving up for a place of my own and be single while enjoying random one night stands. I literally never thought I’d have a boyfriend and knowing that I want to spend my life with him at this point is so new and scary yet equally amazing at the same time.
This throws a lot of what I thought about my life down the drain. I always expected to be a single mother. I expected to just have the one night stands while traveling the world and bring my kids with me. I never thought I was beautiful enough to be with one man. I also always thought I would start a family young. I didn’t want to be my mother’s age and having my first child. I wanted to start a family young enough so that I would be able to see them grown up and be able to spend time with any grandchild that may happen. So slowly reworking that and being with someone who loves me so much and who I love just as much if not more and still being unemployed has just put a lot of things in doubt for me.
I’m sure I’ll see the clearing through the smoke and haze and then I’ll be all set in life. Except that I know life is never set in stone so who knows what could happen.
In the meantime and in something totally random, I hate having some form of dyslexia. I don’t know how many times I misread or misspell words and then have to go back and correct myself before I look like a total idiot. I don’t know why, but I feel like it’s been getting worse the more I type things up.
I just wish the jobs would pick up in Vermont. I really just want to travel and write. That’s all I want to do. Travel and write. Maybe that’s why I feel so confused right now. I can’t really travel. I can just write. I would travel, but I don’t have a job or source of income minus asking my parents for money so I can’t travel anyplace to write about that place. I mean, I could go someplace in Vermont, but I would need multiple places in Vermont and normally I find places just by driving around and thinking someplace looks interesting or I need to stop and get food. I don’t just decide to go online and look up someplace. Those places already have been mentioned on the internet. I’m always thinking back door places or new places that have been around but haven’t been mentioned much.
It’s why I wanted to go cross country. To find all those places the television shows, newspapers, tourists miss. Those little off the beaten path places that are amazing that are just waiting for someone like me to come around and get them in the spotlight.
Alright, that is all for now on that. I don’t want anyone to steal my ideas (like anyone would do that).
In other news, I bought seven six Gold Dust Platies and they are so pretty (I think either one committed suicide and has disappeared or the guy miscounted). I love watching them swim about the tank. I think that’s what is helping too. I have something to look at in my tank. I love to just lie on my bed and watch them interact with the remaining Glo Fish and lone Danio. I think my Cory Cats are mad at me again. I did pick up another API Mater Freshwater Test Kit. Something was wrong with my Nitrate test. I had high nitrates so that’s why I was losing fish. Now that everything is order, the water looks so much better and the fish are happy and I’m happy. I am planning on picking up another tank. It’s going to be small, no more than twenty gallons. I have my eyes on a fourteen gallon tank that I think will fit nicely on the desk next to the ten gallon. Sadly, the tank is overstocked still, but a larger tank will help a bit. I think the plan so far in my head is to move everyone into the new larger tank and then I’m thinking of using the ten gallon for a nice bunch of male Guppies, or maybe I’ll get a nice Betta fish and some Neon Tetras. I haven’t figured it out yet, but I will. I love having fish and the hobby is addicting. I just want to keep getting tanks and getting fish.
I’m watching them now between typing and one was being a loner but he finally joined the group and he seems so much happier. Then again, they aren’t very happy because the filter is too strong for them. I turned it down, but it’s not helping much. I might add a little more water to see if that will help disperse the flow.
My favorite favorite Fall Out Boy song of all time. This video saved my life a few years ago when I decided to overdose on some pills.
I was in the hospital singing this song in my head and had my mum smuggle my iPod to me so I could listen to the song. The amazing part? I hadn’t been listening to my iPod or Fall Out Boy that day.
I plan on saving up some money and getting some of the lyrics tattooed on my arm to cover the scars from my past suicide attempts.
I listen to this song when I’m feeling down and it always cheers me up because I know how much this song saved me before.
I should mention that I didn’t create this video. I could most likely create an epic video for this song, but it just keeps slipping my mind.
xxEMOxLIZZARDxx 